just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize