The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
