Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
