Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Vodka?
Forever.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
