3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i think i scared a bird with my dick
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
