Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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