i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
