When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize