I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i drank out of a bidet.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
