i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He passed out mid-signature
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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