but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
