Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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