all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
