what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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