I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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