May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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