Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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