the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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