On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
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So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
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Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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