Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I think my moral compass just broke
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
