I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
