dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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