I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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