i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
