ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
As shirtless as possible
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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