we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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