Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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