We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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