Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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