The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
