Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
