this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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