Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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