I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
