Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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