It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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