Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
