I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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