When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
