That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
