she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She bit a glass in half.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times