these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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