he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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