i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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