the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
