Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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