Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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