My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
