I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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