she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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