if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
