So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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