I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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