Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize