ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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