So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
