Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
