My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
