You work out of a Hotel?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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