i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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