i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
