I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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