I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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