I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I hate all girls vehemently.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
