She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
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You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
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I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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